Jogging Avoiders T-Shirts

Too hot to Walkman

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

7 brownies worth of exercise.

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

"We need to walk."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

Health

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Are we having fun yet?'

The Candy Shop. Anytime I eat candy it immediately goes to my mid-section. No time to waist!

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"Cool bonfire app, man."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

"At least you made it into the hallway."

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

Exclamation Marks chasing the Question Mark.

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

"I can’t even find the motivation to quit my gym membership."

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."