Marathon Avoider T-Shirts

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

Good News about winter

"It's true: no more burpees."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"I told him he should have trained more."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

401K

Couch and Potato

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"We need to walk."

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

The Candy Shop. Anytime I eat candy it immediately goes to my mid-section. No time to waist!

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'That Brown bears watching!'

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

"Cool bonfire app, man."

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'Costume - What costume?'

Get a life

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

'Well, did you win or what?'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!