Marathon Avoider Gifts

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

Good News about winter

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"It's true: no more burpees."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"I told him he should have trained more."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

401K

Couch and Potato

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

"My brain said, exercise....my tummy auto-corrected that to, extra-fries!"

'That Brown bears watching!'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"Cool bonfire app, man."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

'Your back went out because your front went out.'

'Costume - What costume?'

Get a life

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

'Well, did you win or what?'

The Sedentary Dead.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

Scientific Research: 'Does your research on the sunset include the observation of the sunrise?'