Outdoor Avoider Gifts

'Reasons to cancel run No. 148 'A leaf on the track''

'Beautiful day out there, folks. Don't miss it. Complete coverage, coming up next.'

Damping Off

Good News about winter

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

Virtual priority

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

"Why run a marathon when you can sleep through it?"

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

"Cool bonfire app, man."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

Big bumpers.

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

D.I.Y ladder

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

But, mom, I don't want to go to summer camp!

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

You're right. Winter in Florida sounds better every year.

"Apparently, my self-driving car doesn't like driving in the snow, because it took it upon itself to drive 1,200 miles to somewhere warm while I wasn't paying attention."

Danger Signs.

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

'Any place that doesn't have snow.'

Lawyers don't go to the beach, because cats try to bury them.

Good parenting.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'