Dedicated Joggers Gifts

You gotta admire her commitment.

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

7 brownies worth of exercise.

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

Olympic Torch Training

Health

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

Cross-country knitting.

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

Middle-aged people spend a lot of time looking for things that they have 'lost'.....

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

Exclamation Marks chasing the Question Mark.

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

'Stampede!!'

Second to Nun

"Madonna's out early this morning."

'Oh darn........I forgot The Alamo!'

My wife! My best friend! My matching tracksuit!

3. Proceed cautiously in the practice of yoga, as mistakes are hard to undo. 4. When jogging, watch your step. Too much steady pounding can result in a loosening of your internal organs and their slippage into one of your legs.

'Here comes the 7:15...'

"My wife has been walking five miles a day. I think she's somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania now."

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

"He's like a Bill Gates without a Microsoft."

Sir, do you claim your new vitamin water has negative calories? Weight loss guaranteed. Want some? Just an explanation of how it works. You drink it, you lose weight. Simple. Also, you have to drink it while jogging or exercising vigorously for at least 30 minutes. Does it work for regulators from the Federal Trade Commission? Run away.

"Now, you may feel a little pressure..."

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

'Jogging is a great exercise for a tit man!'

"27 marathons in 27 days - he's no but a show-off!"

'I always need motivation to exercise. Like being chased by the cops.'

"Don't forget bib number!"