Jogging Enthusiast Gifts

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'I always need motivation to exercise. Like being chased by the cops.'

7 brownies worth of exercise.

'Are we having fun yet?'

'Here comes the 7:15...'

Mugger put off by smelly runner

Running with scissors

Jogger passes sign: Temporary Sign.

Competitive jogging.

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

'I'm glad you feel like a new man, dear...so do I!'

"It's so nice to finally meet you! Your dog and I have despised each other for years."

'That's my jogging suit.'

Health

A traffic light says, 'Don't Walk, Jog.'

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

"Jogging may reduce YOUR blood pressure, but jogging in to see me every day will increase MINE!"

"He's like a Bill Gates without a Microsoft."

Buns of Steel.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

'That's Runaround Sue. She runs around with every boy in town.'

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

"My goodness, Mr. Barret, with all those vitamins and all that jogging, we thought you'd never show up!"

Sir, do you claim your new vitamin water has negative calories? Weight loss guaranteed. Want some? Just an explanation of how it works. You drink it, you lose weight. Simple. Also, you have to drink it while jogging or exercising vigorously for at least 30 minutes. Does it work for regulators from the Federal Trade Commission? Run away.

"So, … Do you jog?"

"You know those annoying couples who jog together? That's us."

"It's not your fault, boy – how could you possibly have known he was my parole officer?"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'