Jogging Gifts

How to run a marathon.

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

"I don't think I can make the finish line, so I'm going back!"

Just Do It/Just Do Without It.

Two men are jogging. One is noticing 'Danger Wide Load' sign on back of other.

'I'm sorry caller, I'm afraid he's on the other line at the moment.'

'The hardest part of this running routine is exercising the will power to do it.'

'I always need motivation to exercise. Like being chased by the cops.'

Reasons to cancel the run no 148: ' a leaf on the track.'

'This isn't rocket science, Chuck. You donate $1,000 to a charity. You feel good. That's it.'

'Urban relaxation'

'...Just collapse right there and quit!!'

"Arlen keeps bragging about running 26 miles. What he fails to tell people is that it took him eight months to do it."

'Are we having fun yet?'

Jesus Feeds the 5K

"To help you keep a healthy pace, I'm going to release Bruno here one minuit after you start."

Crossing the street.

"I was pushing fifty and then it sneaked up behind me."

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Costume - What costume?'

"Don't forget bib number!"

'Reasons to cancel run No. 148 'A leaf on the track''

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'

'I need somebody to run this by legal. Anyone in the office wearing sneakers?'

'Face it, Susan! Those boobs weren't made for jogging.'

A man with a shirt reading 'No Pain No Gain' runs past a man who is relaxing with a 'No Pain No Pain' shirt on.

Trapped in the treadmill.

No Exercise

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - You'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Reasons to avoid training no.236 - A leaf on the path.

'Bad news Fred. They're stopping my incapacity benefit.'

'You shouldn't call them 'perverts', it's considered offensive.'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.