Faithful Joggers Gifts

Jesus Feeds the 5K

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

7 brownies worth of exercise.

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

Health

Olympic Torch Training

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

'Are we having fun yet?'

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'

Exclamation Marks chasing the Question Mark.

Testing the water temperature in the font.

"It's right about here that my socks fall down."

Second to Nun

"Madonna's out early this morning."

"And a source said let there be light."

"Not just Sundays, I think it's a sin for you to play any day!"

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

Coventry Carol

3. Proceed cautiously in the practice of yoga, as mistakes are hard to undo. 4. When jogging, watch your step. Too much steady pounding can result in a loosening of your internal organs and their slippage into one of your legs.

A leap of faith.

'Here comes the 7:15...'

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'

A blessing in disguise.

'Jogging is a great exercise for a tit man!'

"J is the reason for the season."

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

Sir, do you claim your new vitamin water has negative calories? Weight loss guaranteed. Want some? Just an explanation of how it works. You drink it, you lose weight. Simple. Also, you have to drink it while jogging or exercising vigorously for at least 30 minutes. Does it work for regulators from the Federal Trade Commission? Run away.