Jailhouse Rock Lover Gifts

'They could be up to something - you watch the feet and I'll watch the head'.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prison Romance.

Prisoner Crossing

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

'I can't believe it! -- My own personal computer turned state's evidence!'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'I was on 'AMERICA'S MOST WANTED', captured on 'COPS', tried on 'COURT TV' and sentenced to 10 years of basic cable.'

'Well, you're not acting like you have every confidence in me.'

'Now then, Mr. Grumpypants, if we're to get along we'll have to turn that frown upside down...'

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"Sorry I'm late, I had to do jail time."

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

'I got six months for arson, and ten years for failing to file an environmental impact statement.'

"Five to ten years of bad accordion music...OMG!"

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

'My first counterfeit dollar.'

At least you have security!

'It's for you.'

Cartoonist draws bomb next to prisoner.

Prison Paintings

''Stole a Smart Car. It picked me out of a lineup.'

'I got life plus three hundred years...I won't be eligible for parole for six months...'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

'When I get out, I'm going straight!'

"Apparently it's OK to clone sheep but not hundred-dollar bills"

"I found your contact lens."

"See you later. Do you want the door closed?'

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"