Ivy League Alum Gifts

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

Ernie, I hear you're an amateur botanist who believes some plants are baseball fans. Yes, ivy plants root for the Chicago Cubs and dream of being in Wrigley Field themselves on day. King Ferns are fans of the Kansas City Royals. Cattails follow the Detroit Tigers. And Redwood trees are huge supporters of their local team in San Francisco. That makes sense. Giants love the Giants! Redwood trees are the team's biggest fans!

Man and woman surrounded by ivy.

Yale shadow

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

"Dad, I hold a professorship, in poetry at Harvard. I'm widely published. I'm well off. I'll retire in three years. The odds of me going into medicine at this point are slim to none."

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

"I think it's unquestionably the finest letter you've ever written to the 'Yale Alumni Magazine.'"

Harvard Waiting List

No, it does still fit! This is exactly how it fit in college.

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

2 Guys from Harvard - Attorney-at-Law

'The teacher gave me a 'B' for coloring outside the lines. At this rate, I'll never get into Harvard!'

"I'm going to Princeton!"

'I think we've found your problem. It's a Yale lock, but you have a Harvard key.'

Soccer Uniforms

Bumper Sticker Show Off.

"Well, no, but I always rooted for them."

Brown - But My First Choice Was Yale.

"I went to a school is Boston."

'I want the contents of that bottle checked!'

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

"Someone must have read about me in the financial pages. My college alumni fund in contacting me twice a week."

"You have to at least try, Timmy. Your father built you a participation trophy case."

'Perfect, Lance! You couldn't be preppier!'