Ivy League Gifts

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Baseball Dreams

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

Man and woman surrounded by ivy.

Ernie, I hear you're an amateur botanist who believes some plants are baseball fans. Yes, ivy plants root for the Chicago Cubs and dream of being in Wrigley Field themselves on day. King Ferns are fans of the Kansas City Royals. Cattails follow the Detroit Tigers. And Redwood trees are huge supporters of their local team in San Francisco. That makes sense. Giants love the Giants! Redwood trees are the team's biggest fans!

Yale shadow

"When I left Princeton, I spent a summer briefcasing in Europe."

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

Little League Umbrellas

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"I think it's unquestionably the finest letter you've ever written to the 'Yale Alumni Magazine.'"

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

Harvard Waiting List

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

2 Guys from Harvard - Attorney-at-Law

Soccer Uniforms

"I'm going to Princeton!"

'I think we've found your problem. It's a Yale lock, but you have a Harvard key.'

Bumper Sticker Show Off.

'The teacher gave me a 'B' for coloring outside the lines. At this rate, I'll never get into Harvard!'

"Well, no, but I always rooted for them."

Brown - But My First Choice Was Yale.

"I went to a school is Boston."

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'