Ironic Realism Gifts

Maid addressing domestic about religion

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"I'll have dessert first."

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

Dropping Bombs and Hearts

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

Gigolo Diary

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"So ... taking that nap during my performance review was a very bad idea."

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

Success Without Effort

I intended to be a bum, but family connections and inherited wealth got in the way.

"Harumph. Some 'sailor man.'"

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

'I thought working for a congresswoman would be different than working for congressmen.'

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

'Personally, I don't see what's so romantic about canoeing.'

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

And with this run of events, Scooter and Huck began to consider other forms of recreation... softball, perhaps.

'I thought I'd just crease a few book spines while I catch up on my soaps.'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"It's my wife. She understands me."