Ironic Realism Mugs

Maid addressing domestic about religion

"I'll have dessert first."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

Dropping Bombs and Hearts

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

"You'll find all the adult 'Dummies and Idiots' guide books in the children's section."

"I found another great book about living with less stuff."

Gigolo Diary

The Enemies Within? They're the Boys in Blue

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

"So ... taking that nap during my performance review was a very bad idea."

It is what it is. Settle down! Stop being such a worrywart. What's the worst that could happen? Inactivists.

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

Success Without Effort

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

'Personally, I don't see what's so romantic about canoeing.'

"Animal Liberation by Peter Singer"

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

'I thought working for a congresswoman would be different than working for congressmen.'

"I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death."

Summarizing the obvious: The gang, lost in Nowheresville, Utah, was saved by the spirit of Sadie Cohen, warning them how to get to safety. But how, and why? Stow it. Sadie and her spirit couldn't stand the idea of being without us. It would've left her with no one to despise. I feel so needed. My spirit is on lockdown!!!

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Al. I might have found that quote useful if not for my deadly fear of hobgoblins.

And with this run of events, Scooter and Huck began to consider other forms of recreation... softball, perhaps.

I intended to be a bum, but family connections and inherited wealth got in the way.

"Harumph. Some 'sailor man.'"

'I thought I'd just crease a few book spines while I catch up on my soaps.'

When Intellectuals Dumb Down

"Sorry - we don't stock religious titles in case it offends some of our customers."