Ironic Critic Gifts

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Wifi in Hell

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Admit it, we're lost."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

Big business is not evil

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."

AI Summit

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

Man reading 'Bankruptcy for Dummies'.

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

Meet The Ghostwriter

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'