Cynical Critic Gifts

'Ha! I can see right through that!'

"It's possible I suppose, but not before the strong have stripped it of everything worth having of course!"

Sucking Up to Gen X

His campaign promises are like pieces of rubbish. They're never kept but they are recycled.

'There's a lady here to see you, Senator -- I think she's a lobbyist.'

'You and I know this country is all about money! I think I'll buy it.'

Mail & Political lies.

"Brussels Protestants appear to ave taken over the Health and Safety Department, Your Grace."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

The Forever Stamp

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"With great power comes great reward."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

Will Self deprecation

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."