Cynical Critic T-Shirts

'Ha! I can see right through that!'

"It's possible I suppose, but not before the strong have stripped it of everything worth having of course!"

'There's a lady here to see you, Senator -- I think she's a lobbyist.'

'You and I know this country is all about money! I think I'll buy it.'

Mail & Political lies.

"Brussels Protestants appear to ave taken over the Health and Safety Department, Your Grace."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

The Forever Stamp

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"With great power comes great reward."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Will Self deprecation

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Suggestions Get Shredded.