Ironic Romantic Gifts

"He's head over heels, worships the ground I walk on – kind of annoying."

'Personally, I don't see what's so romantic about canoeing.'

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

"It's my wife. She understands me."

Sisyphus Valentine

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"i have a premonition that we'll die, so let's just keep things platonic."

Sexual chemistry set

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

"The moon, the dinner, dancing. How could this night be more perfect?"

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

Darcy's feelings for Elizabeth increase.

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

Gigolo Diary

'Two can't live as cheaply as one, but we will get double - occupancy rates when we travel'

A man with heart shaped head singing to a fuzzy flying heart

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"Oh, he's a darling alright: he gets up early every spring and gets me a freshly brewed coffee for when I wake up...

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

"It's not you....it's me...parrot...he doesn't approve..."

"If your boyfriend is so special, why is his name tattooed on the back of your neck where you can't see it?"

"You know Mike, you're so boring, you're interesting!"

"I never appreciated having a cat until I lost my hair."

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

'Edna always wore rubber gloves while reading romance novels.'

Love Mix Ups.

"I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death."

Especially for YOU! - Free Valentine hugs.

'All I know is that she met him off Nantucket.'