Ironically Romantic Gifts

'Stop acting so shifty. How could our dirty weekend possibly go wrong?'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

"The moon, the dinner, dancing. How could this night be more perfect?"

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

Darcy's feelings for Elizabeth increase.

Gigolo Diary

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

A man with heart shaped head singing to a fuzzy flying heart

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

"Oh, he's a darling alright: he gets up early every spring and gets me a freshly brewed coffee for when I wake up...

"It's not you....it's me...parrot...he doesn't approve..."

'Personally, I don't see what's so romantic about canoeing.'

"You know Mike, you're so boring, you're interesting!"

'Edna always wore rubber gloves while reading romance novels.'

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

'All I know is that she met him off Nantucket.'

Unusual Romance

In Sickness And In Hell

'No one regurgitates like you, honey.'

'How did you ever get a good conduct medal?'

'Gloria, I want you to meet my significant other.'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"Nah, not my type."

"It's my wife. She understands me."

"An algorithm matched us as soul mates, and yet it can't suggest a movie we both want to watch."

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

'I love you, but I have to keep moving or I'll suffocate and die.'

"There must be a mistake, I'm a tee-total vegan!"