Ironically Romantic Mugs

'Stop acting so shifty. How could our dirty weekend possibly go wrong?'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

"The moon, the dinner, dancing. How could this night be more perfect?"

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

CFL bulb and ice cream cone fall in love

Darcy's feelings for Elizabeth increase.

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

Gigolo Diary

A man with heart shaped head singing to a fuzzy flying heart

"Yes I do like intelligent women - what a stupid question!"

"Oh, he's a darling alright: he gets up early every spring and gets me a freshly brewed coffee for when I wake up...

"It's not you....it's me...parrot...he doesn't approve..."

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'Personally, I don't see what's so romantic about canoeing.'

"I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death."

"You know Mike, you're so boring, you're interesting!"

'Edna always wore rubber gloves while reading romance novels.'

'All I know is that she met him off Nantucket.'

'How did you ever get a good conduct medal?'

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

'Gloria, I want you to meet my significant other.'

Unusual Romance

'No one regurgitates like you, honey.'

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"It's my wife. She understands me."

"An algorithm matched us as soul mates, and yet it can't suggest a movie we both want to watch."

"Nah, not my type."

In Sickness And In Hell

'I love you, but I have to keep moving or I'll suffocate and die.'