Romantic Irony Lover Gifts

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'ARRGH! ARRRRRGGH!' Cupid's arrow has actually killed a man during his courting a woman

'I think we should start seeing other people.'

"Nah, not my type."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

"George was only interested in mega-bytes, so I got him this rottweiler..."

Looks like another hostile takeover...

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet