Romantic Irony Appreciators Gifts

'I think you'll find the dating agency NEXT door, madam!'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

Peace bomb.

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."