Romantic Irony Appreciators Pillows

'I think you'll find the dating agency NEXT door, madam!'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

Peace bomb.

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

You're Out Of Order

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."