Romantic Irony Admirer Pillows

"Isn't this romantic—just the two of us by a fire as it consumes every letter from that tramp you almost married?"

A candy heart reading 'LOL' is struck with an arrow

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Made in China

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

"I really enjoyed my job. Management found about it and fired me."

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

"George was only interested in mega-bytes, so I got him this rottweiler..."