Romantic Irony Admirer Gifts

"Isn't this romantic—just the two of us by a fire as it consumes every letter from that tramp you almost married?"

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Made in China

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Perfection Troubleshootors.

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

If found please return to mountain

"George was only interested in mega-bytes, so I got him this rottweiler..."