Romantic Irony Fan Gifts

Gigolo Diary

End the Winter Blues

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'No! No! No! I don't want to die. . . Then why are you carrying that enormous scythe?'

Ingoldsby Legends - Impious Bishop Robert of Birchington

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the first minute I saw you I wished you the worst."

'No, but you're getting warmer.'

A Cold Snap

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

The outside of a museum with a banner that reads "Nothing by you".

'Edna always wore rubber gloves while reading romance novels.'

"It appears to have been done with a key to the city, which narrows the suspects."

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

I like your suit, to me it says 'management'

'Soccer hooligans, majesty! Thousands of them! We're doomed!'

' . . . but have you had a nice time?'

'and what do you do?'

Congress and the Four Day Week.

"Nah, not my type."

Executioner hit in stomach bythe head he has just cut off

'The tracks are getting fresher. He's close by.'

'Dear Santa, when I asked for a ship, what I meant was...'

What's wrong with me? I'm sure it's nothing. What's nothing? Absolutely nothing to worry about. "I'm sure it's nothing" are the evilest words in medicine!!! That's actually true.

"I told him it wouldn't kill him to try to be nice once in a while, but I was wrong."