Ironic Romance Fan Gifts

'Edna always wore rubber gloves while reading romance novels.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"Right here's fine."

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

Winter Weather.

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

Love knows no boundaries.

"That whole, 'fast than a speeding bullet' think suddenly makes sense!"

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'Hey Babe - 7:30 sharp, don't be late...I'm preparing you a meal...'

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

Separations.