Ironic Romance Fan Pillows

'Edna always wore rubber gloves while reading romance novels.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Right here's fine."

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'Tomorrow we'll look back on this as a night to remember.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

Winter Weather.

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

Love knows no boundaries.

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

"That whole, 'fast than a speeding bullet' think suddenly makes sense!"

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

'Hey Babe - 7:30 sharp, don't be late...I'm preparing you a meal...'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

What do you mean, you like me. We're love birds!