Lovers Of Irony Gifts

'This should be interesting.'

Eye Test for Doctor

'This is my wife of 42 years...uh...' 'Lisa.'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'Need anything today?'

Expect the Unexpected. If you think about hat for a while, you can get really confused!

Holding on by a branch.

Fish caught in a snorkel.

'Your'e going to meet a tall, dark, stranger.'

"Just think of it, Charles – yesterday I was a caterpillar, and tomorrow I'll be dead."

Watch Your Step

A Man with poor eyesight has misjudged the Optometrist's door and smashed into the wall

"Of that tree you shall not eat its fruit, lest you die -- plus I licked all the fruit to make it even less appealing."

Paradox Pub

Ed's Bar & Grill: Schadenfreude Hour 5-7

'Big Mikey will now add a few bullet points.'

"You should get out more."

Venetian without the knowledge

'Our first order of business is that we need to elect a president and a vice president!'

'She never stays mad at me for long.'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

"Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions?"

'I see lot's of water...'

'Mr Stevens, I have good news and bad news for you... The good news is You're not hypochondriac!'

"I told the King that the Queen is the most important piece on the chess board."

Customer frisks his bank manager, checking his pockets. Manager says: 'I'm sensing that there's a lack of trust here, Mr Trubshaw.'

'Good news, I've just booked our holiday, it's two weeks in a caravan in Wales.'

'The poor thing -- her therapist recommended divorce, and she isn't even married.'

'Well done. Your eyesight's better than mine.' (Man is picking his pocket).

'I'm a fortune teller Phillip. Music is going to mark a key moment in your life.'

'Could you please hurry, Teller, I need to make a deposit, and quickly.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight -- I forgot to defrost the walrus.'

'I'm afraid those teeth will have to come out.'

Mobile phone - literally.