Ironic Crooner Gifts

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

'Old blue-screen's back!'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

"And now, with our own unique version of the cole porter classic. . ."

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'

"How can one sum up Henry's impact on all our lives? Negligible, I guess that'd do it."

Pianissimo - (to sing very softly).

Singing is everyone's shower rights.

"O.K., Marv, you win. Quit the croonin' and get a condom."

"Let me do all the singing."

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

Wussapalooka

Downcycling with Debbie

'I fired them all. 2.437 of them. I'll go it alone.'

"I've had a request. Nonetheless, here's another song."

"It's the hard knocks life for us..."

Affectation? No, I really am having violin lessons!

"We need more video-tutorials to help us reach the high notes."

"I won an tenor on the lottery."

'Ah got them, 'missed-,mah-margin-crawl when the city defaulted on mah tax-free-municipal-bonds-blues'.'

Latch Hook...

Air guitar springs leak.

Too Popular By Half.