Corporate Crooner Gifts

"Let me do all the singing."

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'Dow goes up, Dow goes 'round, but we'll keep rockin' 'til the Fed cracks down . . . '

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

Festive squad

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

'See if you can get them to flambe the check, too.'

Landing That Tough Account

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

'Let's rock!'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

'Old blue-screen's back!'

Music from the moon.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Long Speech Alarm at Company Dinner

City & Western.

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

Banjo Player

'One more yippeee-ki-yi from Roy Rogers back there,and i'm putting a hoof through that guitar.'

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

'Here's something you need to hear...'