Financial Crooner Gifts

'Ah got them, 'missed-,mah-margin-crawl when the city defaulted on mah tax-free-municipal-bonds-blues'.'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Bashful in Nashville

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Festive squad

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

"So you're a poet? I don't get exposed to much poetry these days, unless you talk about the poetry of price-to-earnings ratios."

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

'This is the 'I Fell Behind On My Credit Card Payments, So They Took My Guitar Away Blues'. I'll be performing it a cappella.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'Old blue-screen's back!'

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

City & Western.

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

Banjo Player

'Ever wish we were back on Wall Street?'

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'