Financial Folk Singer Gifts

City & Western.

Sub-prime Bear

Yes, they are all dependants."

Business is a game.

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'

"The times – They have a changed."

"How many verses of 'Froggie Went A-Courting' are there, Jay, before your pill kicks in?"

Art Garfunkel.

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'...Stop trying to funk it up.'

"So you're a poet? I don't get exposed to much poetry these days, unless you talk about the poetry of price-to-earnings ratios."

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'This drug treats 'stock market jitters' but a side effect is 'irrational exuberance'.'

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"This machine isn't killing fascists."

Spinning violinist

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

'Do you know the Lincolnshire poacher?'

"The Scrimpshaws have finally decided to deposit their savings."

'Sorry, but Watford is not a tax heaven!'

"Our clients like their accountants to use their 'imagination', but most would still prefer their returns in a spreadsheet."

The Terror Of Folkenstein

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

IRS, 'How about that -- 100 unearned income.'