Investment Expert Gifts

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

"I told you to invest in 'Bonds' not 'Blondes'!"

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

Profit

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"What's a debenture?"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

The economy.

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

Will work for ETFs

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

E.U. Banking Union.

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Invest in technology."

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Wall Street Couch

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

European currency on the edge.

The Shrinking Dollar.