Investment Professional Gifts

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

Switzerland breaks with tradition on tax evasion.

"We like your determination to develope a new investment strategy."

'We all need to cut back on expenses. For example, I am only buying $500 suits instead of $1000 suits!'

Police warning: Thieves operating in this area.

"Where do you see yourself in five years, Mr. Hawkins - still a small investor?"

"If your investing advice is so good, why do you still have to work?"

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Now that I have your attention...'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"What's a debenture?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

The economy.

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

E.U. Banking Union.

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'