Investment Specialist Gifts

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"Dugan is our new specialist in floating rate bonds."

"We have no golden parachutes."

"Our brokerage firm specializes in the small investor."

Your 401(k) is now a 201K

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

Profit

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"What's a debenture?"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

The economy.

Will work for ETFs

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

E.U. Banking Union.

"Invest in technology."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Wall Street Couch