Investment Consultant Gifts

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

"He's a famous stock market expert, looking for new trends!"

"How can a fund that's loosing us money call itself socially responsible?"

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"Now that I've made that perfectly clear..."

"I recommend you invest in oil. Prices are down now, but auto leaks are up."

'My investment advice is to relax, stop and smell the roses, dig up the roses, bury a million dollars beneath the roses.'

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

Halloween 2008.

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

Share Prices - "Due to a delay in installing our new computer price system, I can give you an answer immediately."

"Get a grip, Fulson. An unbalanced portfolio can be remedied."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

'I'm a lack of funds manager.'

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

'Look what I found at the garage sale - a new notebook with internet brokerage access and an investment consultant'!

'Believe me, sir - Entertainment is a very serious business!'

'Let's rethink this commission statement.'

'My money's tired. It doesn't work for me any more.'

Financial Advisor: Old money and new money.

Coronavirus Economics

"Trust me, Cattle futures are the last place you want to invest"

'You used to be an investment consultant, Fred -- what should I do with this quarter I found?'

'Of course, if you don't want to invest in our passive aggressive growth bond ... '

Money going to shark and piggy bank.

Greece - The Black Hole

"Put your money into dog food, rubber toys, and experimental laboratories that use cats."

A simple clue that your bank has been sold: "Would you like that in dollars or yen?"

"Solutions are not the answer."

Gold Crisis

"How would you describe your attitude to risk?"

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

'Wooow! Thank you so much! Now, all I need is a good investment consultant!'

"It's crypto with a C and has nothing to do with kryptonite."