Investment Analysts Gifts

Build Your Own Portfolio

"You are looking at our future billion dollar building extension..."

Gravy Train

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"What's a debenture?"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

The economy.

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

E.U. Banking Union.

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

European currency on the edge.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'