Investment Analyzer Gifts

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Day trading.

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"I warned him not to keep his bitcoins under the mattress."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'Crisis'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

Portfolio, 2011

Travel looks strong!

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

Got out of the market too soon; got back in too late.

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.