Asset Analyzer Gifts

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Build Your Own Portfolio

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

'Crisis'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

Portfolio, 2011

"Your stork analyst is here, sir."

Travel looks strong!

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

"He downgraded Apple."

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

Micro and Macro Department,

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

'Both were written this year by the same author.'

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"