Investment Analyzer Pillows

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Build Your Own Portfolio

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Day trading.

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Crisis'

"I warned him not to keep his bitcoins under the mattress."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Travel looks strong!

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

Portfolio, 2011

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

Got out of the market too soon; got back in too late.