Stock Market Analyst Gifts

'We're beginning to see some positive patters in the emerging data.'

'Amazing... the patterns are the same!'

'You're a bond trader? Don't worry, there's a new drug to treat interest rate sensitivity.'

"The stock market was down because more people wanted to sell stocks than buy them."

'fortunately, we were able to pick up on the negative indicators early and extract our brokerage fees before your share portfolio hit the fan.'

'You've got hopelessness and despair until 3:25, at which time your survival instincts are scheduled to kick in.'

"I believe the appropriate financial term is 'topsy turvey'."

Man passes beggar with '.com' sign.

'An ounce of prevention is now worth only half a pound of cure, but it was long overdue for a correction.'

"When I said we were going public, That didn't mean you were supposed to divulge our secret recipe."

'We need more expert analysis than 'the stock market was down, because it wasn't up.''

'I used to be an investor...now I'm a stock market philanthropist.'

'I now call to order this staff meeting on the recent downsizing.'

Book on 'How to Handle Market Stress' being thrown out of a window.

Oil prices

Desk trays for 'irrationally exuberant' and 'irrationally sluggish'.

Stock Market Analyst.

"Henry decided to float his online business..."

'Which stocks should I invest in to profit from this 'Armageddon' you keep talking about?'

Prepare for the coming bull, or bear market?

"Your complete name is Paul Anton Norman Ichabot Cucumber?? P-A-N-I-C???! I'm sorry, you can't work as a stock market analyst any longer!"

City Redundancies - In? Out?

"I only said it was going to 100 - I never said whether it was dollars or cents."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"At least this damn pullback is pulling back lots of money from the wrong hands."

'Of course I've heard about Global warming... And I'm loving it!'

STOCK MARKET ANALYST (And other odd jobs).

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'Lets face it, Farley. This is a great time to be rich.'

'Stocks rose on the news that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.'

'The CEO's had himself cryogenically frozen until the economy picks up.'

'Stocks rose on the news that basketball star Yao Ming is now worth more than all the tea in China....'

'I just wish, he had been more direct...

"What I've learned is we can buy energy and we can sell energy but we can't just keep energy."

'This is the most popular operation for stock market analysts --a permanent smile with a look of confidence.'