Investment Counselor Gifts

'I'm just saying, relying on change under the couch cushion is a risky retirement plan.'

'You have a balanced investment portfolio. Everything you own is losing money equally.'

'If it weren't for the fees on my fees, I wouldn't make any money.'

'Would you like to make 14% a year on that money? I'm an investment counselor.'

'I've given up red meat, sugar and booze; stock swaps and derivatives are all I have left!'

'Who needs an investment counselor?'

"This quarter we're very bullish on red."

"First of all, Mr. Keller, I'll buy you a new shirt."

'Would you like to 14% a year on that money? I'm an investment counselor.'

Lew Yomp Jr: Investment Counselor & Elvis Look Alike.

Don'tBlameMe: Investment Counselors

"Stocks closed higher on news the U.S. budget deficit and the universe are expanding, so go with the flow."

Stocks closer high on news coronavirus closed lower

"What do I invest in these days? Lottery tickets!"

"In layman's terms, it's a loud screech followed by a loud crash."

"You wouldn't believe how good they are. I'm making money on my asbestos and horseshoe stocks."

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

'If you wanted to become rich, you shouldn't have become a doctor. You should have become an investment counselor.'

Sign in Investment Counselor's window says 'We have growth stocks'. Sign in Farm Center window next door says 'We have fertilizer'.

"Frankly, sir, you don't look like the mutual fund type."

"Let's just say your booty isn't quite as valuable as it was!"

"So in conclusion, you're 'on target'...maybe, perhaps...but I wouldn't want you to hold me to that!"

"You wouldn't believe how good they are. I'm making money on my asbestos and horseshoe stocks."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Hollywood Sign Developers

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

In the Guru District

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block