Investment Professional T-Shirts

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

Switzerland breaks with tradition on tax evasion.

"We like your determination to develope a new investment strategy."

'We all need to cut back on expenses. For example, I am only buying $500 suits instead of $1000 suits!'

Police warning: Thieves operating in this area.

"Where do you see yourself in five years, Mr. Hawkins - still a small investor?"

"If your investing advice is so good, why do you still have to work?"

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"What's a debenture?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

The economy.

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

E.U. Banking Union.

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Wall Street Couch