Financial Expert Gifts

How inflation works. . .

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

'I reviewed the figures. The consultant saved us a bundle but cost us a larger bundle.'

"Snipes is our in-house Chicken Little, and he says the sky is falling."

Help. If I hadn't lost everything, I'll tell you what stocks I'd buy now.

'He's reacting to a consumer shift that only he can hear.'

"I know, I know ... But that's Alan Greenspan!"

'So what's so great about being an economist? You can talk about money without having to make any.'

'We've exhausted all other strategies to avoid the buyout, Dennis. This is where we rely on your expertise in martial arts.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Simmons is our expert in oil stocks.'

Money Laundering

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

British savings accounts

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'That's our mission statement.'

Profit

Jack of all trades