Finance Expert Gifts

Gobbledygookologist

Flat tax

'For the economy to improve, we're counting on a 'trickle down' from the super-weathly to the wealthy.'

Tax Dodgem Cars.

Alexis Tsipras and the EU.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Profit

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

The president's men

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Spot the difference.

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

The best financial decision I ever made.

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'