Finance Experts Gifts

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Profit

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Spot the difference.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

The Greek Trampoline

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

Soaring Profits

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'This year, executive bonuses are tied to performance. You owe us $50,000.'

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.