Investment Expert Pillows

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

"I told you to invest in 'Bonds' not 'Blondes'!"

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

In the Guru District

Jack of all trades

Profit

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"What's a debenture?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

The economy.

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

E.U. Banking Union.

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Invest in technology."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

European currency on the edge.