Internet Mystic Gifts

'In the future I see much spam and many people with a blog.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Do you have an appointment?"

Wikipedia...

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

God's Phone

"All the celebrities come here."

Witches of Instagram

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

Yogi back in 5.

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Snake with headphones.

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

God's Phone

End of world nigh!!!

Bill Gates Takes Over The Psychic Friends Hotline.

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

Fully decked out in his new skimmer-Boy Mike was able to skim the pool in just 60 seconds,

Gracebook.

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

"I do miss the crystal ball."

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'