Online Mystic Gifts

"It's asking for your password."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Do you have an appointment?"

Wikipedia...

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

God's Phone

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"All the celebrities come here."

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Did you have a cat?"

Witches of Instagram

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Yogi back in 5.

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

Snake with headphones.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

God's Phone

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

Bill Gates Takes Over The Psychic Friends Hotline.

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

End of world nigh!!!