Online Mystic Pillows

"It's asking for your password."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"Do you have an appointment?"

Wikipedia...

God's Phone

"All the celebrities come here."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

Witches of Instagram

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Did you have a cat?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"We no longer use Astrology or crystal balls. We now use algorithms to predict the future."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Yogi back in 5.

'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

Snake with headphones.

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

God's Phone

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

Bill Gates Takes Over The Psychic Friends Hotline.

End of world nigh!!!